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15 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart
1-wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks whatyou're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!!!" and push them behind a shelf
2- Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take one
3-Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!!" once the cashier tells you the price
4-Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some "musical devices"
5-when the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream "THE VOICES!!!THEY'RE BACK!!!"
6-start a fish stick fight
7-walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream "I MISSED YA, MAN!!!!!!!"
8-(this requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming "The British are coming!!! The british are coming!!!"
9-walk up to an employee and murmur "code red in aisle 3" and see what they do
10-slip a bra and a lacey pink thong into a really macho-looking man's cart (just make sure he doesn't have any girls with him)
11-attempt to fly off a high shelf
12-throw confetti on random people walking into the store
13-whisper "I know your 'little secret'" to people in the checkout line
14-stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section
15-walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...They want me to take you away...to aisle 8..."


*OINK*

|........|
|........| Put this on your
|........| page if you have
|......O.| ever pushed a
|........| door that said pull

Mom,
I went to a birthday party but I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink at all, so I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself, the way you said I would,
That I didn't choose to drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I knew I made a healthy choice and your advice to me was right
As the party finally ended and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car, sure to get home in one piece,
Never knowing what was coming, something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement, I can hear the policeman say,
"The kid that caused this wreck was drunk."
His voice seems far away.
My own blood is all around me,as I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,"This girl is going to die."
I'm sure the guy had no idea,while he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive that I would have to die.
So why do people do it, knowing that it ruins lives?
But now the pain is cutting me like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell my sister not to be afraid, tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven to put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have taught him that its wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his mom and dad had I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments, and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me mom, as I lie here and die.

I wish that I could say I love you and good-bye.




A white man said, Colored people are not allowed here. The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: Listen sir....when I was born I was BLACK When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir. When you are born you're PINK When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you'll turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored? The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.